New age

It was love at first sight.
As if something --
just clicked.

Pressing down on her little heart she
meets him; goes to every party he's been to,
listens in when he reaches out to old friends
although she doesn't say much.

He's perfect for her, he shares her
political views (libertarian),
favourite movies (A river runs through it),
music (swedish pop).

Unfortunately,
it's hard to get your feelings
across as a facebook stalker.

Where have all the flowers gone

After I'd eaten my weight in food at Curly's, I was heading back to subway with my doggy-bag. I muttered under my breath about not buying warm gloves. At -6 degrees, it definitely feels long overdue.

At the entrance of the yellow subway line, I saw a homeless man. He was wearing cloth wrapped around his feet (shoes), pens stuck into his ears (muffs) and was folding some extra clothes into a black trash bag (home), which already had in it a few empty plastic bottles and a bag of chips. That was it. All his belongings.

I looked at the brown bag in my hand, then at him. I said, "Excuse me, would you like to have this sandwich?". He flashed a toothless smile at me, and extended his hand. I handed the food to him and as I turned back, he pulled my arm. I can't tell for sure, but I think he was holding his arms open to hug me. He had dark grime under his fingernails. He probably sensed my hesitation; he withdrew his arms and said, "Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!" with the same toothless grin. I gave him a hurried smile and continued down the stairs. Once I was on the platform, I patted off the dust from his hands on my coat-sleeve.

Did I just do a good deed? I don't feel so good.

Objects of iridescent nacre

A lifeless colour thanks you:

For walking under indigo skies just before daybreak.
For waking me up from my relentless morning slumber, day after day after day.
For telling me I am lucky.
For listening patiently when I irritatingly complained about the state of my room at four in the morning.
For being so much like me and yet poles apart.
For believing in me when I didn't.
For telling me I can't have everything.
For always being there even though I wasn't, for you.
For liking me even though I make the same predictable mistakes over and over again.
For knowing the signal from the noise.
For being the most selfless person I have ever known.
For letting some of that selflessness rub off on me.
For allowing me to compliment myself while complimenting you.
For needing me too, once in a while.

And that's not the half of it.

And suddenly sunny

Just like that.

I was wrong. Your words are capable of shaking me out of every misery. I love you, and that is about all there is to it.

Le sigh

Was I unsurprised? I shouldn't have been. Was I in my senses? I couldn't have been.

Dreams do come true. They momentarily shatter your reality. They don't allow you to enjoy perfect New York weather, instead making you curl up as if it is dark and windy outside.

Dreams do come true, and it is neither sparkling nor magical. Nothing, not even the spell you weave with words about being a gaijin can shake me out of my misery. It is like that time the Bombay local train ticket checker looked at me funny, not believing me when I said I really had lost my ticket and tearing a fine for Rs. 175. It made me go red in the face. Except this time I AM guilty, and no one caught me. My face is flushed warm and my hands are cold and I hate it. Funnily, I never thought this sort of thing could disturb me. I, who can neatly deconstruct a relationship, did not see this coming.

You know what my problem is? I (beep)ing* never see anything coming.

But I have a plan. This time, there will be no rewind and repeat, I promise.

(* Yes, even in my insanity, I do not lose sense of propriety - That's part of the plan. Cursing is for losers anyway.)

Soundless thoughts on weary nights

Maybe I can curl up into a fetal roll and cross my arms and clench my fists and shut, shut, shut the world out.

Or wear waist-length hair and open my arms and look up at the sky and run to the horizon on dew-topped grass.

-

Yeah, same pinch bub: We're both commitment-phobes.

-

Today I wore my long black coat to work. A lot of people probably did, the streets looked visibly duller. Today I got my first static shock in months. Oh my god, winter is here.

-

At midnight, I tore away the aluminium foil and slowly placed the heavy waffle (loaded with promise to deliver) on the plate. I opened the takeaway containers full of joyful accompaniments. I cut through the then-sauce-now-paste. I heated. I scooped out generous spoonfuls of the nut-buttery caramel that had melted into the little square bowls of the waffle. I forgot my fatigue for a few quiet moments.

(No No darling, thank YOU for being such a wonderful guest.)

Regular rant

Americans, this is what I have to say to you.

1. I can say butter instead of budder, hash instead of pound, ddmmyy instead of mmddyy, and still speak perfect English. Okay?

2. You think it shockingly embarrassing to sweat in the armpit, and then proceed to nonchalantly deafen the general public's ears by blowing your nose into your tissue. Hmm.

3. Yes, your portions ARE too large.

4. When I tell you I'm not well, I'm usually looking for sympathy. "Take care, darling" is prefered to "Gosh stay away from me and don't give me whatever it is you have". Just letting you know.

5. Like is a surprisingly versatile word. It's a noun, verb, conjunction and a preposition. However, if you say like, at like the slightest drop of a hat, it's like kind of annoying.

6. Why do most of you think stand-up comedy = toilet/sexual/racist humour? (Yes I do spell it with a 'u'.)

7. Being charged for incoming text messages is lame. Lame. Did you hear me?

Tu, et moi

You you, me me.

You strong, me weak.

You dismisser, me believer.

You aggressive, me defensive.

You black pepper, me yuan zhi.

You even-keel, me hyperthymic.

You for tax rates, me for neon lights.

You mock arrogant, me mock modest.

You minimalist, me post-impressionist.

You patient teacher, me irreverent student.

You moderate in your lifestyle, me flamboyant.

You flamboyant in your thoughts, me moderate.

You, love without boundaries. Me, I lay conditions.

You tireless and me tireless. You honest, me honest.

You, generous. You, broad-minded. You, sharp-witted.

You, who I constantly reject and you who complete this

oddly sloping passage, almost but not quite.

All in one gentle evening

Wait. Ten minutes for the unadulterated aroma of crisp cookies fresh out of the oven. Sit cross-legged at a bus stand, knowing you are catching a bus to nowhere. Sip hot, thick, dark chocolate at said bus stand; try to keep pace with the cream formation at the surface of the cup.

Listen. There might have been sparrows in the background (you never know). Try to walk daintily in oversized clumsy Nike floaters. After all, the cute guy you just overtook might be watching you. Talk about taking risks with a 35-year old who's always followed his heart. Wonder when you would give up what you have to sell hot cookies and thick chocolate to people like yourself. Give your beneviolent one a warm hug. Stand by the messy kitchen sink and talk for hours.

It passed rather quickly.

Our song, Jibb

Just because I didn't write it first doesn't mean I don't mean it more.

--

Things have come to a pretty pass
Our romance is growing flat,
For you like this and the other
While I go for this and that,

Goodness knows what the end will be
Oh I don't know where I'm at
It looks as if we two will never be one
Something must be done:

You say either and I say either, You say neither and I say neither
Either, either Neither, neither, Let's call the whole thing off.

You like potato and I like potahto, You like tomato and I like tomahto
Potato, potahto, Tomato, tomahto, Let's call the whole thing off

But oh, if we call the whole thing off Then we must part
And oh, if we ever part, then that might break my heart

So if you like pyjamas and I like pyjahmas, I'll wear pyjamas and give up pyajahmas
For we

know we

need each other

so we,

Better call the whole off off
Let's call the whole thing off.