Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Regular rant

Americans, this is what I have to say to you.

1. I can say butter instead of budder, hash instead of pound, ddmmyy instead of mmddyy, and still speak perfect English. Okay?

2. You think it shockingly embarrassing to sweat in the armpit, and then proceed to nonchalantly deafen the general public's ears by blowing your nose into your tissue. Hmm.

3. Yes, your portions ARE too large.

4. When I tell you I'm not well, I'm usually looking for sympathy. "Take care, darling" is prefered to "Gosh stay away from me and don't give me whatever it is you have". Just letting you know.

5. Like is a surprisingly versatile word. It's a noun, verb, conjunction and a preposition. However, if you say like, at like the slightest drop of a hat, it's like kind of annoying.

6. Why do most of you think stand-up comedy = toilet/sexual/racist humour? (Yes I do spell it with a 'u'.)

7. Being charged for incoming text messages is lame. Lame. Did you hear me?

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

This post is the remaining American standup comedy of the Seinfeld ilk that you did not criticize (but maybe should have :) )

zoxcleb said...

I really liked 4. Seen that quite a bit.

Anonymous said...

Agree with 5, like needs to be followed by yeah to be fully legit :)

mad said...

I like ya too. Okay? :)

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